Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
