I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
