K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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