Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
