He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize