So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize