Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize