She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
