Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
