We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize