Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
