dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
