just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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