I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
honey bunches of taint.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
