4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
