so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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