Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This is my gift to your gina
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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