to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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