I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You've changed since you got that strap on
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
