I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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