so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
