Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
