I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
