I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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