Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
