I need help removing her.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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