I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
