I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
