I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
