what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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