Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
