After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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