you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
