please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.