I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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