Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
