Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
