oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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