Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
