Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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