Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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