Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
