There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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