She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
