One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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