I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
PANTIES FOUND
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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