Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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