somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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