Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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