is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
