Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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