READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
