your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
