Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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