Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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