She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize