Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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