school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
