Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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