I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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