if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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