i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
