I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
