We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
