well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
As shirtless as possible
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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